This Girl...

Denial.

I went back to that place, where we met, today.
You weren’t there.
And things were different. For starters, the sky was blue, not grey, it didn’t match your eyes. And remember that fallen tree we were sitting on? It’s gone. They took all of it. Even the stump. Even the roots. All that remains is a patch of grass a little shorter than the rest.
The beaming sun was creating small reflecting pools in the lake, water we wouldn’t have known was there if we didn’t hear the small splashes from frogs frolicking in the fog. The fog that rolled in had gotten so deep I could barely see you next to me. It engulfed you. You blended in with the cloud.
But I could still see you.
Today I didn’t see you. You weren’t there.
Oh, and they put a rooster shaped weather vane on the roof of the gazebo. Every time the wind even whispers the thing screeches around to face it. It’s pointless if you ask me.
I miss you. I wish you would come back.
Well, I should get some homework done. I should, but I probably won’t. You know me, always procrastinating.
I’ll write to you again soon.

Anger.

So, it’s freezing outside today, and I can’t find my scarf.
You never returned it.
And I can’t go over to your house to get it.
You won’t be there.
If you had given me my scarf back, before you left,
I wouldn’t be cold.
If you were here, instead of gone,
I wouldn’t need my scarf.

Bargaining

Yesterday I woke up from a dream about you.
In it, we were in the field, lying in the dandelions.
The air was cool. The sun was warm. You were smiling.
As I’ve gone through the day
I’ve tried to hold on to that.
The image gets dim and starts to fade.
I want to close my eyes and see your smile.
I want to be with you, lying in the dandelions.

Depression

I took the batteries out of my clock.
The sound was starting to make me feel sick.
I took the batteries out and I got back in bed.
Now I don’t know how long I’ve been here.

Acceptance

I got out of bed.
And, I went back to that place where we met.
The sun wasn’t too hot and the wind was just right.
I brought wind chimes with me and hung them like a necklace
around the neck of Rooster, the weather vane.
I also brought flower petals and filled the patch of shorter grass
where our tree used to be.
I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to that place where we met.